How is it possible for someone to have no dreams? I find the idea hard to fathom though it explains a lot in my life. My family and all those around me have always tried steering me away from my dreams, always belittling them, trying to put me on paths that were not right for me. Basically I should be like them, just slaving away to make money just so that you could pay bills, eat, and support children if any are had and that is it all the while pretending to be happy with your lot in life. I’ve always wanted more, and nobody understands or gives a flying fuck. It’s pretty evident that none of them have ever had dreams or wanted to pursue them, feeling dreams were silly and unnecessary.
I had a chat with my mum the other day, and she pretty much confirmed it. I had asked her if she had ever had any goals in life and she told me no, she really didn’t. Explains a lot. She felt obligated to be at her parent’s beck and call 24/7 (didn’t help that we lived right across the street from her parents), she quit working once she had children and never went back to work after my sister and I were old enough to stay home alone for a few hours, and was depressed a lot. Whenever I told my mum I wanted to try this or that, the answer was always no. To be fair a lot of stuff required money and transportation, neither of which we had in abundance. And we couldn’t spend too much time away just in case the grandparents, who never learned to drive, needed to be carted around somewhere. I wanted to go to college and my mother would argue with me, trying to convince me not to because lack of money as well as the fact she felt I didn’t need it. I did still try when I graduated but I was unable to get any sort of financial aid unless I went full time and I was already working two jobs so full time was not possible. She of course denies the fact she ever discouraged me but she did, my memory is apparently better than hers or she just has selective memory. But hearing that she never had any life goals or dreams, even if she didn’t achieve them, saddened me. My sister never had dreams either, nor my grandparents, the majority of my family in fact. Explains why they all weighed me down keeping me from flying. People without dreams tend to hold the dreamers back. I only know of one family member that did have a dream and was actually living it up until a recent injury put him out of commission.
Slaving away just to pay bills, line the pockets of the powers that be, squirt out babies, and barely survive without any enjoyment is no way to live. It is not life. It is depressing. Some people say they are happy with that, but that is just a load of crap. We all need something to strive for in life or else what is the point? A life without dreams, a life without goals, is no life at all.
“Hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.”
– Langston Hughes