Ninety Minutes I Won’t Get Back

I very rarely have low ranking reviews on here because most of the movies I watch are actually good. There are some however that, while sitting in an empty office doing my work, I get curious about and then cannot look away even if it’s bad. Flipping through cable channels at my desk, I came across the horror flick “Eloise”. Let us use the term “horror” loosely here. The setting for this movie is the now defunct Eloise Insane Asylum, a real place located in Westland, Michigan. I’ve been past it, creepy place but then again most abandoned places are.

The main character, upon the death of his father, must return to Detroit where he finds that he stands to inherit a tidy sum of money as long as he can produce the death certificate of his aunt who was a patient at Eloise. Instead of just going to county records like most people would in this situation, which would be a whole lot easier but hey it’s just a movie, he goes to the administrative building for the hospital. He decides the wait period for the records is too long so he enlists the help of an old friend as well as a mentally handicapped young man who seems obsessed with all things Eloise and his sister. The foursome break into the abandoned asylum to search for the needed records and find much more than they bargained for.

While this is pretty much your standard people-trespass-onto-creepy-locale-and-end-up-getting-into-trouble type movie, I’ve seen better. The actors could not draw me into the story. Very little character development to make me really feel for any of them and the plot just did not make sense. I guess I just like my horror to be, you know, scary. At least Chernobyl Diaries had some good jump scares and freaky zombies though that one was still a bit “MEH”. I score it at 4 out of 10. You can find better.


About DarkPhoenix

I am an open book. My pages are just stuck together.
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