Brain Bleach Needed

Yeah okay, curiosity got the better of me. I know the movie was largely panned, although some still said it was good. Tonight at work, I decided to stay a little later in the office to watch a movie as I do sometimes. I don’t have cable at home so sometimes I watch it at work after I get done what I need to get done. Out of curiosity, I decided to watch “Fifty Shades of Grey”. If you’ve never seen it but thought about it, DON’T! I’ve seen low budget pornos with better plots. I’m not against the whole dom/sub thing, if that is something you and your consenting partner are into then have at it. I’m always for a bit of spice. This movie had a more convoluted plot (if you could call it that) than any of the worst fan fics you can lay your eyeballs onto. Mix in some very sub par acting and you have something that is an embarrassment to the whole film making profession. The actors must have been desperate for money to participate in this one. Here’s all you need to know: college girl goes to interview a cute rich guy, girl falls in love with rich guy despite his repeated warnings about what kind of guy he is and that he doesn’t “do love”, within just a couple days of knowing each other they begin their little sex fest all the while he is still warning her of his dark side, she asks to see said dark side, then at the end she cries and whines about how he treats her (again she was constantly being warned throughout the movie that his lifestyle is not for everyone), and then there’s her teary goodbye. You kept asking for it you dummy it’s not his fault, he gave you plenty of opportunity to get the hell away from him. Why did I keep watching? Well I suppose I was hoping that it would turn into a horror flick and one of the mains would end up killing the other in a murderous rage. lol I give this a generous 2 out of 10. It at least gets that much since it did manage get me horny a couple times. Other than that, one of the dumbest movies ever made. Stunk worse than last night’s sewage drain backup in the office bathroom which pretty much permeated the entire building.  Oddly enough there is supposedly a sequel in the works. They will make sequels out of any old thing now good or not. It is a well known fact that books are always better than the movies that get made from them, but I would be afraid to test that theory with my own money.


About DarkPhoenix

I am an open book. My pages are just stuck together.
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