If You Only Knew, Then You Would Know

I was recently told by someone that I should trust people more and was asked why I don’t. For some it is easy, but for others not so much. My reasons would fill a novel that would cause tears to flow and flood the earth. I was once quite a trusting soul. I was generous with my trust and believed people’s promises because I was raised to think that promises were sacred things. By the time I was twenty, all of that changed. Far too many people betrayed my trust, my friendship, and didn’t think twice about going back on a promise. If a person ever told me the truth I swear the world would implode upon itself. Kids at school, people who claimed to be my friends only to turn around and spit on me and spread lies about me (and as I’ve said before, people find it easier to believe a lie than the truth), people at work, and even my own family. As far as my family goes, it wouldn’t have been so bad if it were just cousins but even my own grandparents hurt me beyond repair. I did attempt trusting again when I was around 23, but that didn’t work out too well and got hurt yet again. I won’t go into all of the history since it is quite long and drawn out but you get the picture. My not trusting anyone is not because I don’t want to, I just can’t. I would love to have at least one person I could trust, but that will probably never happen. It would be great to have that connection with somebody in the world. It would take a long time to build up my trust and even then it would be all too fragile. I’ve always been of the mindset that if you hurt me once, lie to me, fail to keep your promise, I could never forgive. I may still be nice, but things would never be the same between us. There is always more to someone than what you see upon first glance, and always a battle going on that the world is not aware of and could not possibly comprehend.


About DarkPhoenix

I am an open book. My pages are just stuck together.
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