Another Example of My Invisibility

Before all of the restructuring and downsizing and consolidation of offices at my job, I was one of the go to people for work on productions and an overall known member of the team. Over the past few years though, I have become pretty much unknown, even to those few left that have known me before all of the above crap. I’m not even in their database anymore I don’t think. Sure they noticed and made sure I acknowledged my birthday recently, but the rest of the time I am pretty much in a quiet corner and being isolated and feeling alienated doing desk jockey work (something I promised myself I would never, ever do). Today I was having computer problems so I decided to use the computer in the control room near the editing suite to click out the next week’s program schedules for our channels. The boss walks in with a local radio dj he’s been collaborating on a show with and walks right past me. I thought nothing of it since he had already said hi to me today and usually once is all I seem to get a day. lol. He passes me a couple of times as he walks to and from the editing suite. I had not been all too silent during my time at the computer as I had been clicking away at the keyboard as well as walking in and out of the control room a few times myself. After a couple of hours, he was done combing through footage and taking notes and he and the dj exit for the final time. When they leave the control room, they turn out the lights prompting me to say, “HEY!” He turns them back on and apologizes and tells me he did not even know I was there. I told him only half jokingly that I must be the most invisible person that works here.

Yeah, I know I should have gotten out of there years ago. The problem is, not many in my field are hiring in my area and I still don’t have the money to move to greener pastures, so need something to pay the bills which is pretty much all it barely does. I even told my supervisor earlier that day that I had never intended on still being in Michigan this long as I had long time goals that did not include still living here. Unfortunately I got stuck here because when the hard times struck and I had to go into survival mode and support two adults, it was at a time when I was still not ready in life and I struggled to get to the next level because of it and of course I had no help and still don’t. When I got rehired, it was only part-time so pretty much just survival mode still which is killing me ironically. And of course the people who are left are from other offices who stick to their cliques and don’t bother getting to know me. So yeah, I have become invisible.

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About DarkPhoenix

I am an open book. My pages are just stuck together.
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