Be Respectful

Sickens me all of the toxicity I have observed on social media about Queen Elizabeth II upon news of her death. Why can people not be more respectful or just say nothing at all when somebody passes away? I get not everyone is in favor of the monarchy, feeling it a stuffy institution long past its usefulness. No matter what you feel about such an institution though, one that the queen was thrust into upon birth and not by choice, she was a human being with family and friends and had a deep sense of duty to her country and the commonwealth. Some of the hate understandably comes from jealousy from the not so wealthy as the royals are born into money and privilege but they forget that these people are in fact born into it and have no control over that nor can they control the fact that it is all they’ve known. Some of the hate I’ve witnessed also stems from stuff that has happened before she or even her father was even born. Yes colonialism and wars happened, every country and culture around the world has dealt with it at some point in history but you cannot control the past. And other people just read too many supermarket tabloids and give in to all the gossip that goes around without even knowing all the facts. And yes there is the family drama but we all have some sort of family drama, we just don’t get our dirty laundry aired in public the way those in the public eye do. Many also forget or fail to realize that the UK is a constitutional monarchy where the queen or king has very limited power and is pretty much relegated to figurehead leaving all the political decision making to parliament so much of the crap that goes on is not really their fault. Their job is to smile and wave, make the country look good, and try to rally their people together to show unity, and maybe at the most advise those in charge.

Personally, although I am merely an American from the USA and would not classify myself as a royalist, I have much respect for Her Majesty. While definitely not perfect (again, human) she was a strong woman who always displayed dignity and poise, representing the ideal values of her people. I say ideal because obviously not everyone is rich enough to obtain her privileges much in the way many sitcoms of the old days would depict the ideal family on television when many families were anything but. She fulfilled her duty instead of walking away from it and did it for 70 years! 70 years, can you imagine? Most people alive today only remember her ever being queen and nobody else. Rest in peace Queen Elizabeth II and good luck King Charles III, you have some mighty big shoes to fill (figuratively speaking of course as the queen was quite petite in comparison).

I’m not saying everyone has to like her even though many have never met her personally, but at least show some respect for the deceased. If anything, follow the golden rule everyone should have learned as children: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

Posted in Entertainment, News and politics, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Invisible Terror (A Carly Justice Adventure) (Don’t Judge Me)

Okay, I really stepped out of my comfort zone here big time and watched a low budget indie recommended by a friend. I’m not one to shy away from low budget films or films obviously made for guys. Sometimes even I can find humor in such stuff when done well. There is the “WTF am I watching, though I am mildly entertained so I’ll watch to the end.” Then there is just plain “WTF?” My friend talked it up big time so I and my house companion, who happens to be male and loves big bazongas, went in with open minds. Even he could not tolerate it much past the half hour mark. Now maybe some of it has to do with the two of us having worked professionally in television for a number of years and still find ourselves nitpicking over everything, but this movie is plagued with bad acting, audio is all over the place, can’t understand a lot of the dialogue, and the script is very disjointed, not to mention the random shots of big boobs when someone is talking instead of seeing the face of the actor as well. As if the boobs were what was doing the talking. It really reminds me of a high school a/v student film made by hormone driven teenage boys for other hormone driven teenage boys. No full frontal nudity (at least in the bit we saw), but the girls are all dressed very sexy and very well endowed. The premise that I think exists is that there is an evil woman or organization looking to do away with the heroin Carly Justice, played by the late Dakota Skye. Might be entertaining if it was sped up a bit like they did on the old Benny Hill tv show but as it is, I’d say 2 out of 10. At least my buddy and I gave it a chance.

Posted in Entertainment, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Who’s More Confused?

Here’s something random that happened to me yesterday that is kind of amusing. At about 4:30pm I’m getting ready to get my shift started at work. Everything is going according to the standard routine when I suddenly get a call on my mobile phone. I don’t recognize the number so I ignore it. I find out later that this number has also called my main home phone. This number then calls the mobile 3 more times in a row, the last time they finally just leave a voicemail. I decide to listen to the voicemail and discover that it is my aunt “T” who lives in North Carolina. With the exception of a few brief exchanges over FaceBook (boy that platform has totally ruined actual human interaction), we haven’t actually physically spoken to each other over the phone in well over 15 years at least. In the message she asks me to call her back as soon as possible.

Aunt “T” never calls me. As I’ve said before, she only interacts on Facebook and even then it is extremely rare. So of course I’m thinking something is totally wrong. She either cannot get a hold of my mom or something has happened to grandma, though if something did actually happen to grandma I’m sure I would hear it from Aunt “R” first or somebody would contact my mom and then mom would relay it to me. So even though I really need to get my shift started, I was curious and called her back. I open with, “Hi auntie, how are you? Is something wrong?” She giggles at the fact I called her auntie, like what else would I call her but what I’ve called her since I learned how to talk as a baby? She tells me nothing is wrong but then started rattling off stuff about her medicines and that she needs to get more. Cue my most confused face that I could muster. Okay we haven’t spoken in over 15 years, you call me out of the blue just to talk about your medications? She then asks me how much she should be taking. Okay sorry auntie but I have no clue what you are talking about. lol She then proceeds to ask me if I got the money she sent and if I needed more. I tell her she never sent me a thing and of course she insists she did. She then talks about her medications again and I’m thinking maybe she meant to call my sister as she takes similar meds. I make mention of this and there’s a long pause. She says no, that she meant to call me. She then asks, “This is <my name> right?” “Yes.” “<my name><not my surname>?” “Uhh no.” Finally it dawned on her that she called the wrong niece. I have a cousin who has the same first name as mine and that was who she was trying to talk to apparently. Me being at work should have been the first clue as my cousin apparently doesn’t work right now and the fact that I called her “auntie” instead of just “aunt” or “T” like the other cousins. Had a laugh and told her it was great hearing from her anyways and good luck in her quest. She told me we really need to catch up sometime and maybe she will call this weekend. Not holding my breath on that one.

Nothing like getting a random call from a loved one you haven’t spoken to in years only for it to end up being a call in error. Still love the old dingbat though. Feel bad she’s always in pain and has been in and out of the hospital many times and she’s only in her mid sixties.

Posted in Health and wellness, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy Birthday Benedict!

Happy birthday to the one man I admire most, Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch – 7/19/1976. Magnificent actor, humanitarian, and all around great person beautiful inside and out. He continues to be showered with awards and nominations for dedication to his craft. If only all men could be this talented and driven! May his star continue to shine bright for many years to come!

Posted in Entertainment, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Those who lack drive, dreams, and ambition are pointless and suck the life out of their surroundings.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Taking My Business Elsewhere

Apparently my money is not good in certain places these days. Went on a rare day out tonight, had a nice meal at a brew pub I discovered last summer, which is very nice by the way and I sung the praises of over on my foodie blog last summer. Anyways, after our meal my friend and I decided to find something to do in the area. Given that it was already nearly 8:00pm, not a whole lot to do but we do remember a couple things in the vicinity of where we were at. Went to check out a place called Putting Edge which is an indoor mini golf place. We finally get there and use the restroom and then decided to continue on in. We go to pay the fee but (and there is no sign whatsoever anywhere) that they don’t accept cash. Since when does a business not except legal tender? We turned right back around, said forget it, and left. Sorry my money is not good enough for you, your competitors will gladly take it. Shame on you and I hope you go under.

We are far from being a cashless society and I really don’t feel like nickel and diming my credit card with small stuff. My card is primarily gasoline and groceries and that’s it. Besides, for me it’s easier to know how much money I have when it is physically leaving my hands. Screw them, taking my money where it’s appreciated.

Posted in Entertainment, Games, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Not My Area

With as much as I’ve told just about everyone at my current job you would think it would be ingrained into their brains by now that I am not a car person. I have never been very mechanically inclined, I pay mechanics for that sort of thing and keep the economy going for those that do know their way around an automobile like the backs of their hands. I’m not a total idiot of course, I know the basics like checking the fluids and the all important how to fill up the gas tank and I can probably point out what I think is a possible source of a possible problem for the expert I hire to check the spot I indicate (sometimes it’s right). Just never ask me to get in to what would clearly be an area that only car people would know. Anyways, I hop into a vehicle and I wanted to make sure which type of fuel it takes since it was not specified. I ask my supervisor and he asks me if the car has an upgraded engine. Like how the heck am I supposed to know that? Really, after all the conversations we’ve had since I was hired, you think I know what an upgraded engine looks like? They all look the same to me. It would be like me asking him to tell the difference between different types of video cameras. He would be clueless. Oh the silly things I have to deal with sometimes. In the end I just used premium gas since it was a sports car and I’m not the one paying the extravagant gas prices.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

I’ll admit that I was a bit worried at first when they began announcing cameo after cameo on social media, making it sound more like an ensemble movie than a Doctor Strange movie, but make no mistake that this is first and foremost a Doctor Strange movie and it’s as mad as the title suggests. It’s your standard superhero flick with a bit or horror mixed in and is very much Sam Raimi. If you’ve watched other films directed by Sam Raimi, you’ll know what I mean. Sure it’s not perfect (how many movies are?) but it was highly entertaining and I love some of the more surprisingly scarier moments that you don’t see much in other films of the genre under the Disney umbrella. It may not have went as dark as Scott Derrickson would have taken it, but it still got a bit dark.

Benedict Cumberbatch is really the only actor alive who can truly play the role of Doctor Strange. Without giving too much away, our hero finds himself charged with protecting a young girl named America Chavez who has the ability to travel between universes as she is pursued by the the big bad villain who wants the girl’s power for her own for some actually sympathetic reason. While the multiverse contains versions of pretty much everyone, America Chavez is somehow one of a kind having originated from outside the multiverse. Of course while traveling the many different universes, which there could have been a few more explored than what we got, there are obstacles to overcome with one big one being preventing the fabric of the multiverse itself from being ripped apart. I was a bit disappointed in the part featuring The Illuminati as it seemed to have come to its conclusion a little too easily. The Illuminati scene felt more like a way in which Marvel could possibly introduce previously off limits characters into the MCU smoothly.

I don’t know any sequels to be better than the original film, but this was still a lot of fun and left me wanting more. Yes it was fast paced and felt pretty much like, well a comic book, and that’s just fine with me when watching a comic book film. Eagerly anticipating the next Doctor Strange movie. This one gets an 8 out of 10 from me.

Posted in Entertainment, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Missing It

I miss being able to go out and do something every week. For a short bit there the weekends were something to look forward to, but now once again they leave me bored, drab and lifeless. Rent had been raised earlier this year and gas prices having risen astronomically it leaves very little money to enjoy oneself even a little bit after paying all the bills. On top of that the work schedules of my friends changed so now they work on the weekends unable to hang out or go off exploring and doing random stuff. No one realizes how little moments like that can help a person through.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Like What You Like

Got to love people who tell you what to like. The snobs are the best. If you don’t like the same thing then you apparently don’t understand the subject matter, uncultured, or against certain themes portrayed. Take movies for instance. Anyone who has sifted randomly through my blog knows that I am a die hard Benedict Cumberbatch fan but, as per my review a couple months ago, I really didn’t like his Oscar nominated movie “The Power of the Dog”. I felt that while the plot was okay, and I get that it was a character study more than anything, the storytelling jumped around too much and was too rushed. To some snobs, I apparently just didn’t understand the film. I understood it perfectly, I understood that I found it boring and rushed. And no, I am not against the themes portrayed at all. As a fan I will applaud the fact that his film has been nominated for numerous awards and won a few and cheer him on, but I am within my rights to not like one or two films out of the man’s extensive body of work. It’s like when you buy an album from your favorite musician but don’t care much for one measly song on the list. Does not make me any less of a fan of an actor or of films in general.

For me, when I write a movie or restaurant review or whatever else I have an opinion on, it’s an opinion and nothing more. If despite my opinion you still find yourself interested in trying it out, then go for it. I would never say you absolutely have to like or dislike the same thing as me, though it’s cool seeing like minded people in the world or hearing other takes. I love film and still even hold onto my dreams of one day working in film. Everyone has their preferences and they don’t have to be the same or else the world of cinema would be a boring place indeed, churning out the same old stories time after time.

Posted in Entertainment, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You Would Think it Would Be Simple

Got to love dealing with government agencies. They turn stuff that should be so simple black and white into a laborious task. I get that they need to keep their ducks in a row and keeping records straight dealing with millions of people any given day. One would think though that if I am voluntarily telling them that I most likely am no longer eligible to receive their assistance and they could go ahead and cut me off, they would take me at my word and cut me off and maybe say a little “congratulations”. But no, they still want verification. I could understand if I told them I was making even less than before, or I became unemployed , or became disabled, or whatever and they would have to have information verifying such a claim to make sure nobody is trying to commit fraud. Hey, despite how terribly flawed our system is for helping those down on their luck, most of us in my country pay taxes that is supposed to support assistance programs and I cannot stand the thought of someone wrongfully taking advantage of something that is supposed to be a helping hand to those who actually need it. I’m still poor as hell but am better off than I was three years ago and also eligible for employer sponsored benefits plan which I never expected in a million years from my current employer. I know roughly the earnings threshold for assistance as I’ve tried getting it years ago and was denied. I think saying “Thanks, I think I got this for now,” would be enough for them. I don’t like taking government help for longer than I need to. First of all I hate dealing with the government because of all the damn hoops one has to jump through during the whole time of having the assistance, and I also just don’t like using it as a crutch like I’ve seen many do and just use it for as long as I need it then stop while being secure in the knowledge that it is there if I ever fall flat on my face and need it again. Red tape to ask for the help, and red tape to get off of the help.

Posted in Health and wellness, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Quick Turnaround

It amuses me to see how people react during awards season. Their favorite gets nominated and everyone rightfully cheers and congratulates them (even if the celeb will never see/hear said congratulations). They gush about how cool it would be for their favorite to win the award for which they were nominated. But the moment their favorite does not win the award, then all of a sudden awards are deemed stupid and pointless, totally without meaning. Funny how that goes.

Posted in Entertainment | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Movie Review – The Batman

The Batman is a good and proper Batman story done right and I am pleased to announce that Robert Pattinson is in my top 3 Batman actors. Someone had said that his portrayal was more Batman and less of it being Bruce Wayne being Batman, and I can really see how this observation was made. Truly a dark character in an even darker world with even darker foes. It was like watching the comic book come to life (as it should be). And yes, we were spared yet another origin story, though they do mention the tragic event which scarred Bruce Wayne for life causing him to become the brooding vigilante we all know and love. And long gone is the campiness of the villains as the main bad guy is terrifying and more twisted than any other incarnation. The story is very much a detective film noir style movie first and is pretty much nonstop action as Batman must stop a serial killer on the loose in Gotham City and discover the connections between he and the victims.

Definitely a must watch for Batman and comic book movie fans 8.5 out of 10!

Posted in Entertainment, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Either Be the Solution or Keep Quiet

Love people with unsolicited, unhelpful advice. Earlier this week I went to my doctor for my three month checkup. Always stressful because my doctor tends to try to give me career advice and I know she means well but I wish she would just stick to medical advice since that is part of her job as a medical professional. Of course none of this advice is helpful yet she thinks it is, even though it is just one more person in a long line of clueless people wanting to steer me in the wrong direction. It’s no secret that my current job is taking its toll on my physical well being and is also starting to affect me mentally as well. I don’t even think this doc realizes I suffer from depression and not just the kind you see happening due to the pandemic and other crap happening in the world. I was depressed long before this century even began. I am not a happy camper. I was always at my happiest with a camera in front of me or in my hands, or doing something creative and artistic. I was never one to enjoy boredom and monotony. Anyways, my doctor keeps telling me of all the places that are hiring (mostly food service, retail, and automotive) and says I should try any of these things and goes on and on about how I can even though I know my own capabilities thank you very much. I know what I am qualified for and sadly none of that fits the bill but sadder still is that the few jobs in my proper field is all freelance or they want you to have your own equipment. I also don’t have that little piece of paper called a degree despite my many years of experience. I know I’m never going to find another job exactly like the one I had for over 20 years as tech is always evolving and that’s okay, I need to evolve as well but evolve in the right direction. I’ve never once held a retail or food service job and frankly, I wouldn’t last five seconds before telling a customer to f*** off or getting into a physical altercation which in retail is a major no-no even if the customer throws the first insult or punch. The friend I live with nearly got himself fired on New Year’s Eve after a customer threw scalding hot coffee into his face and he went ballistic on the guy. The man assaulted him first, could have landed him in the hospital, yet my friend is the one who nearly got sacked but luckily his direct boss knew him for who knows how long and went to bat for him. Doctor thinks I could control that impulse but she obviously doesn’t know me. I’ve nearly gotten myself into trouble on a couple of occasions early on in my television career because sometimes people just rub me the wrong way very easily. On top of all that have you seen how people in retail and food service are treated? Not only by customers but by their own companies? Also right now with doing the job I currently do, my physical health has suffered a little bit and could probably not handle a lot of lifting of heavy stuff (a lot of places require you to be able to lift a certain amount of weight). Why are people always trying to push me in a direction that I am not qualified for and have no passion for? If you want to be helpful, keep me on my chosen path or at least something adjacent. You know a “if you can do or like this, maybe try this” type of thing. I went totally off track during a period of desperation when I was going through a period of unemployment and that was a big time mistake and I am all the more miserable for it. Do I want to trade misery for more misery? Doc, be helpful or shut up please and just stick to the medical advice (which I still question sometimes).

Posted in Health and wellness, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Creepiness Intensified

I’m sure anyone who has ever traversed the internet even a little bit has come across creepy people. They exist and unfortunately not much we can do about it. It’s sometimes tough to navigate social media and “sniff out” the good and bad. Afterall, anyone can be anyone behind a keyboard. I have a big time weakness of being too nice sometimes and giving people the benefit of a doubt. Occasionally this has given me good conversations with people, sometimes even leading to friendships that last for quite a long time. In fact there are two or three gentlemen in the UK that I have been chatting with off and on for nearly 20 years now and consider them good friends even though we’ve never actually been in the same room.

Unfortunately there is a downside to excepting a chat request on social media from just anyone, and that is you’re also opening yourself up to being contacted by creepers. The kind of people who lure you in to a polite conversation then five minutes later send you a pic of their private parts or talk about all the naughty things they want to do. These types I end up blocking pretty quickly without warning. Sometimes I’ll let them drone on and on a bit while I laugh my ass off at them until I get bored or annoyed before blocking. The most recent though got really strange. This guy started out from the get go saying how much he was in love with me just by seeing my profile pic. Personally, I use my own pic on my social profiles as I have nothing to hide and since I look like I’m over 35 in the pic and definitely not a supermodel, I highly doubt anyone would ever want to use my pic for a fake profile for catfishing and stuff. But this person doesn’t know that. For all he knew I could be some 14 year old boy or an 80 year old grandmother as there are many people who do not use their own actual photos or they use an outdated one. Mine happens to be 4 or 5 years old. Okay, nothing new here but don’t worry, I’m getting to the really creepy part.

My current job (and yes this job is only a job to me but that’s a whole other thing) has me working the crappy hours of usually 3 or 4 in the afternoon until about 2 in the morning most times, so not conducive to carrying on a chat with a person on the day shift. At my job, I cannot muck about on the internet as I am constantly behind the wheel of a motor vehicle so any computer time I have is that small window between getting home from work and going to bed 2 hours later and the occasional weekends when I’m not busy doing other stuff so conversations with a daytime person is most times consist of sending a message and wait a few hours for a response. So yeah you can imagine the in depth exchange of information here. lol

So anyways, this guy keeps messaging me about how he’s in love with me and how he feels I am his soul mate despite not actually having a full on continuous conversation. He starts asking me my age, which I never give a straight answer to because that’s just me. Talk with me long enough and you’ll find the ballpark. He goes on describing himself like he’s on some dating platform and then asks me to describe myself, my life, my family, religious beliefs, my goals for the future, etc. I tell him that all he needs to know is on my profile, my family is my family, I don’t believe in organized religion or politicians, and my goals are to have a life eventually. He keeps prodding but I tell him nothing more than the vague answers I provided. All of a sudden he starts calling me Deb instead of my name that he knows from my profile. The first time, I laugh it off and tell him he got the wrong chat window. We’ve all been there right? You get into conversations with multiple people or you accidentally message one person on your list instead of the one you actually wanted to message. Happens to us all right? Not a big deal. He gets defensive ant tries to assure me that he is not talking to any other women. I told him I really wouldn’t care if he was. He tells me he wants to be more than friends. So tempted to hit the block button (why didn’t I). I tell him that we could not be anything more than friends so knock it off please. Later on he sends me a message but calls me Deb again, and again I had to correct him and he apologizes profusely.


He leaves me a message explaining that in me he sees his late wife, named Deb, in my beauty and smile and he would fight for my love if need be. That has got to be the most creepy thing ever said to me, and I’m often barraged with some real weirdos wanting to do weird things. YIKES! I actually wished he had been talking to another person simultaneously. Yes, this did finally earn him the block.

Of course, me being the type to give the benefit of a doubt, took pity and actually left a final message before the block. A rarity for me. I figured that just on the off chance he was being honest about losing his wife and therefore maybe hasn’t quite gotten over it, I told him it was illogical to be in love with someone you’ve barely had a conversation with and has given many indications that they are not available or interested in his desire for “more than friendship” and informed him that a profile pic is not always something to go by as not everyone is as honest as me on the internet with their pictures. I told him that he genuinely freaked me out and advised him to seek some grief counseling or other psychiatric help to get him past his grieving process before trying to chat up total strangers on the internet. In a polite way of course. And then the block.

Posted in Entertainment, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Over It

For a long time now, I have been so sick and tired of doing and being what others expect. When I was younger, everybody telling me what I want and steering me in whatever direction they wanted me to take instead of listening to what I wanted and helping me make it work. And even in my adult life I got the same crap on top of having to hide the real me all the time, constantly being stifled, destroying whatever soul I had left drowning me in the mires of depression and ruin. All this negative energy has hampered my creativity and overall wellbeing. It’s sickening and I’m tired of it all.

Posted in Health and wellness, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Off to a Good Start

2022 is shaping up to be just as awesome as 2019, 2020, and 2021! Yes, I mean that in the most sarcastic of ways. I need to stop with the positive thinking because it always gets me in trouble. Shit is already hitting the fan and we’re only 6 days in. I have not had a good day yet so far.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Never a Good Feeling

If you think going through the belongings of a deceased loved one feels weird, try going through the belongings of a loved one who is still alive yet unable to make sound decisions for themselves any longer and selling off some of those belongings to pay for care. The weirdness increases tenfold. Excuse my language but mental illness is a cruel and heartless bitch, especially when it claims the mind of someone who was always fiercely independent, creative, and still in good physical health despite age. It’s like they’re no longer there yet still alive.

Posted in Health and wellness, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why Should I Tell You? (A Random Ranting)

Some people have such an entitlement complex or are just totally oblivious to boundaries. Maybe even both. One of my superiors at my survival job called me up to ask if I was available to work on a day I was not scheduled to be in. I told her no, that I was not even at home. You would think that would have been the end, but no. She asks me why no, and what was I doing. I so felt like saying, “None of your f*****g business lady!” Oh I was so fighting that urge. Instead I told her I was in the middle of doing stuff. She asks me what stuff and I tell her it is stuff that needs to be done. As long as I am not breaking the law or putting the company in a bad light, what I do when I am off the clock is of no concern to my employers and coworkers. I have discussed this with the main boss many months back when this superior tried pulling the same line of questioning multiple times before. I do not know my bosses or coworkers, nor they me, well enough to divulge what goes on when I am not working. It was different with my previous employers and coworkers as I had known most of them for 15-20 years and I saw them nearly every day and developed a bit of familiarity with each other where sometimes we would give each other a glimpse of personal life outside of work. I have no such connection with anyone I currently work for or with, nor will I ever. Sure, there are 2 or 3 people who I have actual conversations with but that is it. My previous job was more than just a job to me despite what my then-coworkers felt about it (before it went downhill of course), but this job is just exactly that, just a job I am doing to pay the bills and nothing more. So sorry madam supervisor, if I’m off the clock then I and what I do is none of your business! Get that through your thick skull!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Power of the Dog

So many of my fellow Benedict Cumberbatch fans have been praising Jane Campion’s “The Power of the Dog”, saying that it needs to win every award imaginable, that it is Benedict’s best film to date, it’s a masterpiece. While the film is okay, I just can’t put it on so high a pedestal. As for Benedict’s roles, he has had better and much more impactful roles.

“The Power of the Dog” is a character study set in 1925 Montana. Benedict Cumberbatch’s character, Phil Burbank, and his brother George, played by Jesse Plemons, are ranch owners. Phil is an unlikeable bully who excels at mental abuse and toxic masculinity. The impact of this man is felt greatly, especially by his new sister-in-law and her son (who he takes under his wing later). The main problem I have with this film is that it feels very choppy in it’s storytelling. Scenes seem to jump every few minutes in an unnatural way, and some scenes were just not needed. Most characters, with the exception of the Burbank brothers, feel very stiff. There is nothing here that really makes me feel for any of the characters except for perhaps the main antagonist. Did love the ending though and the bits leading up to it. If you’re looking for an action packed western, look elsewhere as there is none to be found here. The sets, scenery, and cinematography are beautiful though and puts you into the period being portrayed. Very much a slow burn movie, one I’m still not sure if I like it or not. 6.5 out of 10.

Posted in Entertainment | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

Well after nearly two years of not stepping foot inside a movie theater, I decided it was time to give it a go. Glad I did as “Ghostbusters: Afterlife” was a fun ride of a movie start to finish. This sequel to the original “Ghostbusters” (1984) and “Ghostbusters II” (1989) passes the torch to a new generation with plenty of nods to the original that blend in perfectly without taking over the story. Without giving too much away, the story begins with a woman and her two children inheriting an old house out in small town Oklahoma where strange things begin to happen and the daughter begins to uncover the truth about the grandfather she never met and the legacy left behind. There are many practical effects in the film as well as a slew of Easter eggs laying around for longtime franchise fans to spot. And yes, there are cameos. The look and feel of this movie is spot on. Some complain that it took too long to build things up but it’s not necessarily always a bad thing when done right. I like to get to know the characters I am supposed to be caring about in the story. 8.5 out of 10.

Posted in Entertainment | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Think About It a Sec

Funny are the people who cringe at the thought of hunting or even killing livestock for food. I have many hunters and fishermen in my family and probably a good deal of farmers, I feel that hunting and fishing are normal things. There are honestly people who are horrified at the thought. I’m not talking about those poor souls who choose to go against the omnivorous nature of humans and become vegetarians or vegans (weird people). I’m talking about fellow omnivores and carnivores. They freak out at the thought of killing “Bambi”, “Thumper”, “Porky”, or whatever fictional animal character, all the while stuffing their faces with meat. How do you think we get that meat? It doesn’t just magically pop onto our plates cooked the way we like it. It comes from an animal being sacrificed to feed the hungry. Circle of life. Hunting, fishing, and farming one’s own meat is a lot more sustainable way in my opinion but of course in modern city society it’s not always possible and so few would actually be willing or able to do it themselves so we do rely on mass slaughter than individual hunting like the old days. As long as it’s done for food, I salute the hunters, fishermen, and farmers of the world (just don’t waste it).

Posted in Food and drink, Health and wellness, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What is Really the Point?

“At least you’re alive.” “You’ve got your health.” Am I? Do I? And even so, what is the point of it all. Sure, a select few are able to live their dreams but for the rest of us, it is all just pointless. You work long hours doing nothing that brings you joy, only a paycheck. You barely have time to enjoy that paycheck though because you spend between 9 and 12 hours away from home doing said soul sucking job, giving you barely enough hours in the day to do much else other than maybe have a quick meal then it’s off to bed to try to sleep as much as you can before going back to the soul sucking grind of misery. The days you do get off are spent catching up on chores or just trying to recharge so you can continue the grind. This is all made even worse if you happen to have squirted out a few kids. All this just to feed the machine. To feed the idea that we are born to work for very little reward if you’re not already wealthy. You try to just make ends meet, pay the bills, etc. then what? What is the point of being alive if you can’t even enjoy it. I NEVER wanted to put my dreams and life on hold for anybody or anything, but that’s my life, always on hold with no point to it.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Drunken Honeybee

This little fellow decided to take a dip into my mead sample and nearly drowned itself. I guess it wanted to see what some of it’s colony’s honey was being used for.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Am I a Yoyo?

Not sure if I should be annoyed or not. One of my former coworkers from my former place of employment contacted me on LinkedIn recently, originally to wish me happy birthday and then she gives me updates on what she’s been up to (pretty normal stuff), but then asks if I would like to come back to do some playback again. I guess the current person doing playback is having a rough time juggling his main full time job and doing part time playback as well. I’m sure the position is still part time contractor status with no benefits and last time when I worked there, we could not go beyond 30 hours. And right now, even though I hate my current job down to my very core, I make more in one week (if they have me working more than 3 days) than I did there in 2 weeks and currently I’m working 4 to 5 days a week at anywhere from 9 to 11 hours (they would have me work 7 if I let them) so with those kinds of hours, I could not possibly fit in another job. I would have to make a complete leap from one job to the other and that other isn’t really attractive at the moment when looking at pay.

The yoyo part? My previous job is one I had already went back to once before. I had a nice multi-hat job as a production assistant, producer, script writer, director, editor, playback operator, local sports programming producer, public access instructor/coordinator, and whatever else was needed of me for the local cable television stations the parent company controlled. I loved it! I got in while I was still a senior in high school as an intern and a couple years later actually getting hired on after learning the ropes and paying my dues so to speak. Poured my heart and soul into it even after the company got bought out a few times and some of the dynamics were changing. Then one day, after being there for a good 12 years or so, I got laid off because the newest (and still current) company preferred contract labor/freelancers over having their own regular staff. A couple years later they brought me back on as a part time contractor with diminished duties (pretty much playback with the very occasional production as they no longer did many actual shows) and less pay, a lot less, but dangled the carrot of opportunity in front of me. Another 11 years go by and then I get let go again. And now after 3 years they want me again?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Another Case of Bad Feelings About Something

My check engine light popped on when I went to head home from work so today I decided to get it looked at, hoping it was nothing major. My car is almost 19 years old and is starting to show his age, so things will start to happen. I really didn’t want to take it in to the repair shop I’ve taken it to a few times in the past due to some unwanted experiences. To get an idea of what the problem might be, I took it to an auto parts store that advertises that it would check issues for you for free. After checking it there, I asked if they could refer me to a mechanic that could fix it for me and they gave me a number to call. I sat in the parking lot and gave the number a call, and instead of a friendly “Hi, this is <company name>, how can I help you?” I was greeted with “Who is this?” WOW so professional there and also, like you would know me from anyone else in town if I told you. I actually had to ask, “Is this <company name>?” “Uh, yeah! What’s the problem?” came the reply. Okay not really a good way to gain a customer. I tell him the issue and instead of having me come to his shop, he says he would meet me where I was at. UMMM NOPE! Suffice it to say I went elsewhere, to an actual mechanic who seemed to know his stuff, got it checked and YAY not a huge issue and got away with only spending 50 bucks for the man’s time.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Uneasy Feeling

I have the misfortune of working a soul sucking pay the bills job where the hours can take you well beyond 1:00am. My job’s parking lot is not the brightest lit place in the world and is right off of a freeway that is also not very brightly lit in that particular area. There are no security gates for the main lot meaning anyone can come walking in and hide in one of the many shadowed areas. I have indeed seen the occasional wanderer or vehicle parked in the shadows. Most nights I am all by myself. For two nights in a row now while driving the freeway service drive I have nearly ran into the same guy just standing around in the dark between 1:00am and 2:00am. I have no choice but to take this service drive to get home. It’s freaky, I don’t like the vibes. Sadly the place I work for doesn’t really care and all they can say is to be careful.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What a Week

Well, I had a wonderful start to the week! Ever have one of those stupid accidents in your home that leaves you wondering how after doing stuff in the same spot for years it never happened? Yeah well happened to me Monday morning just as I was getting ready for bed. I was washing my hands when all of a sudden I stepped back a little too far and fell backwards into the bathtub. Bruised up my back, tailbone, butt, and elbow pretty good. Bumped my head as well but not as bad. If it weren’t for the shower curtain slowing my fall, I probably would have broken something and ended up stuck where I was until my friend got back home 10 hours later. Suffice it to say I was pretty much in bed for a few days, only getting up to use the bathroom or to eat. So, so sore.

Was so annoyed when I called in Monday to work to tell them I won’t be coming in and they asked me if I could come in the next day. WTF you idiots I just fell, I cannot move without great pain. I did manage to go in Thursday, told them I would try. Despite seeing me in pain, they had the utter gall to ask me if I wanted to work the weekend. Straight up told them hell no and they were lucky to be getting me at all right now, besides weekends are off limits to you people anyways.


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Cider Mills: Not For Everyone Anymore

Ahh cider mills, a place to enjoy a few hours on a beautiful day and maybe pick some apples or have some cider and doughnuts…NOT! Seems that cider mills and orchards have ceased to be a nice cheap thing to do and turned in to something only those with money to waste can afford. I had not been to an orchard in years, and I don’t think I will bother again. I don’t recall them ever being so expensive. Sure, you can get in and browse for free but that’s about it. Went up to Spicer Orchards this weekend and YIKES! Did some wine tasting that cost a lot more than average (and frankly wasn’t the best I’ve tasted either) and then figured let’s go pick some apples, can use some for my lunches. NOPE! For just a small bag of apples where you pick them yourself it’s damn near $25. I can get the same exact amount at a local grocery store for about $5 (honeycrisps are a couple bucks more for some reason). Pretty much all of the activities are overpriced. I get you need to pay for upkeep of the grounds and equipment but come on really? Especially with the shoulder to shoulder crowd you seem to get all the time? So figured let’s see what the shop offers. The shop has no browsing room whatsoever, you move through a line through the aisles so there is really no time for you to make a decision on any possible purchases unless you want to make everyone behind you angry. And yes it’s people on top of people there too. Again everything is overpriced and not worth it. Pre-picked apples are almost as expensive as the u-pick, apple cider is about $8 for a half gallon (I know, I know “but it’s the fresh made stuff!”) and so many other goodies that I could not justify spending the outrageous prices on. Yeah this weekend’s outing was a bust. As for the shoulder to shoulder crowd, I cannot complain too much since who wants to stay inside on such a beautiful day? Did some research and other cider mills are pretty much the same all over.

Posted in Entertainment, Food and drink, Travel, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Up North Excursion

For the first time since 2004, I actually had a getaway weekend and it felt so good. My two friends and I traveled up to the northwest part of Michigan’s lower peninsula and I quite enjoyed it. Was not much activity, just relaxation and taking in the beauty of nature.

We first went up to Cadillac, which is where we set up base. Our main destination was Sleeping Bear Dunes up at the coast but, being such a touristy area, the majority of hotels were booked months in advance. Cadillac is already a somewhat quiet little city but all the more quieter after summer is gone. My two buddies made it a mission while in Cadillac to visit the KISS memorial commemorating the time wayyy back in 1975 when the rock band visited the city and played at their high school’s homecoming football game. A bit before my time of course but my friends were kids at the time so they were able to remember KISS’s height of popularity. And this was special because how many super popular rock bands do you know come to visit some small midwestern town and play at the local high school?

Then from there, drove down the scenic highway for about an hour just to see what we could see. Was only the first weekend of autumn but the leaves were starting to change up there already. And something you don’t see in a forest really, and I wish I had been able to take a clear picture of it from a moving car, but the trees in the forest we were driving through were in perfect rows! Normally trees sprout randomly. According to one of my friends who did live up north for a short while, back in the early 20th century there was a reforestation program and the workers planted the trees in rows as you would a vegetable garden. Very weird to see.

We ended up in Beulah, MI and did a little wine/mead/cider tasting at St. Ambrose Cellars. I sing the praises of this particular winery over on my food blog at It was a wonderful place to sit a spell and sip some beverages out on the lawn with friends while getting a few bees drunk along the way. My friend CM has made me a fan of mead. The weather couldn’t have been more perfect! After a few hours, we headed back to Cadillac and enjoyed a nice dinner then back to the hotel to rest up for the next day.

Saturday was our excursion to Sleeping Bear Dunes, a gorgeous national park along the Lake Michigan shore line. We drove through the forest getting out occasionally at scenic overlooks for some picture taking and just absorbing the beauty of it all. Would loved to have walked some of the trails or do some dune climbing but my friends don’t hike and climb, they’re more of the sit and chill on their days off type of guys since their jobs require them to be on their feet for many hours where mine is the opposite.

I’ll post some more pictures later, but some can be found at my instagram at 

That was the main parts of the trip. After the dunes we went back to Cadillac by way of Traverse City, played a little mini golf, dinner, then back to rest for the 5 hour trek back home the next day. Funny thing about trips is sometimes you never want to go back home.

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Stay Off the Phone When Driving Dammit!

Some say they saw it coming and well, it finally happened. A coworker from the morning shift was in a serious accident that landed him in the hospital. Not sure about the other person involved, but by the looks of the once nice shiny brand new pickup truck the coworker was driving (ON THE JOB MIND YOU) the man was lucky to be alive. He was driving down the highway at 55 mph. Apparently he momentarily looked down at his phone and in that split second, slammed into another vehicle that was standing still waiting to pull into a driveway. Needless to say coworker was fired on the spot and of course faces a potential lawsuit, not sure about the company. Front end of the truck is totally smooshed beyond repair and if he had hit dead center he would definitely have been killed. A couple other coworkers told me that he did have a tendency to use his phone while driving and have seen him weaving about the road while doing so, even tapped another vehicle before but nothing too serious luckily. A split second is all it takes. The amount of weaving on the road I see every day is staggering. People often think it can never happen to them but they’re wrong. If something is that important, pull off to the side of the road or into a nearby parking lot. Never try to talk on the phone or text while driving because not only are you putting yourself at risk but others around you as well. I know this will fall on deaf ears/eyes but has to be said anyways.

Okay, PSA over.

Posted in Health and wellness, News and politics, Travel, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

No, I Will Not Be Content

Those of us who have truly tried in life and can’t seem to catch a break should not have to just be content with mediocrity. We should not have to just be happy we have a job or life we never wanted. Cannot stand people who tell me otherwise. “You have your health, you’re not in an abusive relationship, you have a clean record, you have a job when so many are unemployed.” People shouldn’t have to toil in stuff that sucks the life out of them. What good is everything if you’re not fulfilled. I will not be content! By the way my job you say I should be glad I have is actually destroying my health thank you very much. Gained 20 pounds and rising due to not being able to exercise (I barely eat actually but you wouldn’t know it by looking) and my back pains have returned with no relief, I developed anxieties I never knew I had, I never have time during the course of the day to enjoy myself as it is wake up go to work then go to bed rinse and repeat, and the dark and scary thoughts have returned big time. My weekends are recovery time pretty much. Don’t tell me to try and be positive when you know nothing.

To make things worse, I am watching the soul get sucked from one of my friends as well who also had to take a job totally not him and I cannot do a thing to help him. The man was a musician and artist and pretty much happy go lucky, go with the flow kinda guy and now cracks are forming in his façade more and more. Like me, he barely seems to have energy anymore, totally the opposite of his former self. He says he’s fine but I can tell he’s not. We went shooting some footage this past weekend, he was once very active on the public access tv scene but now mostly just posts to social media, and his heart was just not in it but continued because he made a promise to someone. We meet up on weekends that he has off and hang out with our other friend but one or two days a week is not always enough when working the long hours of drudgery.

Yeah I refuse to be content!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment


I find it hilarious this misconception people have about me. I will say something at work and they will act all shocked and surprised. Be it the occasional slip of four letter expletives which I try to refrain from in a work environment, or a simple soft word like “booty” which I find more acceptable and saying “ass”. Do I look like some fragile, prim and proper prude to you people? Trust me, I can be much worse. Besides, it’s one of them fun words don’t you think? BOOTY!

Anyways, how it started was when I was describing a couple of incidences from a previous night. For some reason, even though I was going the posted speed limit or up to 5 mph over, some people saw fit to tailgate me. One car was so close to the car I was in that I could barely see the hood of their car, and I’m in a sporty low rider. While I would love to unleash my inner speed demon, I have to behave especially in a 35 mph zone crawling with cops. I was describing this to one coworker as people riding my booty all night. “Oh my god I can’t believe you said booty, I never thought I’d hear you talk like that!” said my boss through fits of giggles. Another coworker said that he sees me in a totally different light. Funny as how this place I work is not at all very professional. So then I threw in a real kicker. I continued to explain to the coworker I was originally talking to saying, “People kept riding my booty all night and I’m like sheesh, if you’re going to ride my booty, at least buy me dinner first. A little wine perhaps. Some mood music. The booty must be in the mood.” That sent boss and a couple coworkers overhearing the conversation howling with laughter.


Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Not How to Do It

At work, there is this woman who is one of those bright side, always friendly types. She would probably try making friends with an alligator if she could. She needs to work on her context and delivery a little bit. I’m dragging myself in to work and she stops me in the hallway and says, “I want you to sign my card and give me some money.” I’m like, “What? excuse me?” I barely know any of my coworkers as the job is pretty much solitary (another reason I need to get out, I actually like a small amount of human interaction). Most we see of each other is usually during sign in and sometimes parking lots or gas stations when our timing syncs up. To have this woman come up randomly in the workplace and asking me to sign something and give her money is totally out of left field weird and I had no choice but to just look at her like she’s sprouting additional appendages from her head. After I tell her I have no money, trying to hide my annoyance at such a request, she then finally tells me that she got a card for the girl at the gas station we frequent and was wanting to put some money in it. This girl I don’t know past giving money at a register to apparently has cervical cancer and has to go in to the hospital. I still had no money to give of course but if she had just led off with card for woman battling cancer and wants to donate some money to her, it would have sounded a lot better than “Sign my card and give me some money.” LOL

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Statute of Limitations

For some reason, Yahoo (yes I still have Yahoo mail but barely use it) still deems it necessary to remind me every year on this day that it is my ex friend’s birthday and I should send him an e-card. I really don’t need to be reminded of the person I once thought of as the truest of friends who would never in a million years hurt me but decided to turn around and torment me and stab me in the back ruining my already fragile ability to trust anyone. I have not been friends with this person since 2003 and haven’t spoken to them since 2010, last e-card happy birthday sent way back in 2002, so quit with the reminders already, it’s really not needed. Almost 20 years Yahoo, I think you can stop now.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Naked Feeling

I feel so naked without a camera either in my hand or in front of me. Ever since I first laid eyes upon a camera be it video or still shot style, something just kept me drawn to them much like some people with cars or computers I guess. Some people just don’t understand this.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Don’t Give Them An Inch or They Will Take the Mile

Ahh they are at it again at work. I swear, even though I don’t have anything lined up I am so tempted to just walk away for the sake of whatever tiny fragment of sanity I have left. When I originally signed up for this job I shouldn’t have in the first place out of desperation, they asked which days I was available normally and I had stated Mon. – Fri., not available weekends. Last year when the pandemic burst onto the scene shutting just about everything down, I went ahead and did a few weekends here and there but made it clear that this was not the norm and they seemed to understand that. So far this year I had not worked any weekends though they did ask a few times early on but after a few “nopes” I figured they got the hint as they no longer asked. And now all of a sudden, despite the fact that they had apparently hired a whole slew of people, boss lady starts asking me if I would consider doing weekends. Before she even finishes her sentence, my answer is, “NO.” Of course she starts laying on thick the whole “You’re the best person we got.” “We really need you.” And a whole bunch of sugary language that, WOW where have I heard all this before? Oh yeah my previous employer who filled me up with oh so many promises and thinking I could get my career back on track. No sorry, not falling for the “You’re so special to us” crap. At least with the last employer, I once loved it there before all of the changes, it was once a great place to work and didn’t mind the people I worked with. Current job, I feel nothing but hatred and contempt for. They are only sweet and nice when they want something from you but other than that, you are just another robot for them to overwork to the breaking point. 10 and 11 hour work nights that give you no time for anything and they will work you those hours the whole week long if you let them. Not that I like admitting this but there are some days I literally break down in tears and at those instances glad nobody is around. One night my head could barely turn by the end of my shift and the next morning couldn’t move it at all. I need my weekends to try to salvage any shred of mental health I have as well as openings for opportunities that may be my ticket out of here. Yes, I’m still trying to find opportunities when possible, I’m not dead yet although I feel like I am.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Another Case of Easy For Them to Say

“Surround yourself with successful people and you too will be a success.” Well that for many of us is easier said than done when all you are surrounded by is mediocrity with no way out.

Unfortunately not many success stories in my family. Love my parents dearly but mom was born to parents from a generation conditioned to believe that the husband will provide while the woman stays home and raises the kids no matter what the budget therefore ingrained that idea upon her. She also ended up being manipulated by her parents into being at there beck and call limiting her chances of experiencing life in full. Dad just couldn’t catch a break, worked for a company too long and then once he got let go he could not find another job even after getting his GED then he developed heart issues making it even harder thus leaving both he and my mom in the grips of depression all through their middle age and senior years. Well dad unfortunately didn’t make senior years though as he died at the age of 59. Sister quit college and gave up anything promising to marry a man with no prospects and start squirting out kids and live in what to me would be embarrassing conditions. And here she was supposed to be the older and smarter one. The one uncle I had that I could call a success died when I was 20. And my cousins, I won’t even go there.

My professional life didn’t end up much better. I thought different though when I was a fresh young and wide eyed 17 year old looking to get out of my dreary and depressing situation and started an internship at the local cable tv station then later getting an actual job there as production assistant and then eventually associate producer. It wasn’t acting but I did hope that it would perhaps lead to an acting or at least film/tv related career that could eventually get me there since I knew nobody in the biz and I’m in Nowheresville, Michigan. I felt my coworkers were all going somewhere in life and that meant I would too as we all had similar goals. Or so I thought. Turns out that for most they saw it as just a job. It was never just a job to me, I poured my heart and soul into the work going above and beyond even when some of the others would tell me that something didn’t have to be perfect. When the company was bought and people started getting laid off, none stayed within the tv industry and languished in mediocrity ever since, doing jobs totally outside the field. How are they even happy?

Surrounding yourself with successful people, or even like minded people, is a bit harder than it sounds. Sure if you can find it and it is genuine, than go for it. But for some of us, there is no light at the end of the tunnel no matter how much you try to dig yourself out of the muck and mire. What did I ever do to deserve this.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

On a Positive Note…

Okay I know I don’t post too much positivity on here. To be honest, there isn’t really much positivity in my life and it can be pretty all-consuming. So all-consuming in fact that sometimes I neglect to post the occasional bright spot that may crop up from time to time. I’m either consumed with depression or the loathing of my current job and predicament or plan on posting something but then totally forget or say I’ll do it later but then later doesn’t come or some other crap pops up to dampen everything and I say screw it all!

This year, especially during the warmer months, I and two of my friends have been getting out an enjoying Saturdays with some activity or just going out and about. These have been my bright spots, for the weekends at least anyways. Sometimes it’s a relaxing yet competitive game of mini golf, going on a short road trip and seeing where the spirit takes us, or checking out a local event. This also seems to be the summer of wine and beer tasting and trying out different locally owned restaurants and businesses, something I never really did before. And I take my camera with me always as well, just need new batteries as they never last long anymore. I feel naked without some sort of camera.

The wine, beer, and restaurant thing started back in May I think. One of my buddies and I decided to do something different. Our other friend had to work so it was just us two. We decided to head out to Paw Paw, MI which is about a 2 hr. drive down I-94 for some wine tasting at the St. Julian’s Winery, a place we haven’t been to in nearly 20 years when we used to do road trips with another group of friends. After that, we didn’t want to just turn back around and go home but didn’t know what else might be going on in the area. COVID restrictions were still in full swing so obviously not too many big things happening. I suggested we just keep heading westward. Found a place to have some dinner and while there sampled some beers. Continued west until we ended up on the lake shore and dipped down into Indiana to check out the beach. I had never been on Lake Michigan before so was pretty cool. After a little while when the sun started to set we headed back east. I nice relaxing excursion. After that we have been going out of our general area and checking out breweries and wineries while on our Saturday fun days becoming sort of connoisseurs of food and drink. I may even make a side foodie blog telling all about these places. Okay I have to do it now that I said it. It’s out in the universe now, I have no choice. Must make the foodie blog. lol

Feels refreshing to get out, not sure why we didn’t sooner. We don’t travel far but still find some interesting things. Even met a very friendly cat while playing mini golf in Irish Hills. But yeah there you go, a little spot of positivity in my otherwise negative life.

Posted in Food and drink, Health and wellness, Travel, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

So Empty

What good is knowledge when you’re never allowed the chance to use it? Passion when nobody gives a crap? Everything you poured your heart and soul in to getting yanked further and further out of reach? What is the point of it all?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Surreal Movie Find

Scrolling through the internet I came across a most curious animated film from all the way back in 1973. The movie is called “Fantastic Planet”, originally a French film entitled “La Planète Sauvage” directed by René Laloux. I had seen clips years ago but never the full feature so I recognized some of the weird imagery. It was quite a trip visually, making me wonder if the artists were on some mind altering drugs. This film was of course made during the time when animation was done all by hand so that makes it even more impressive. Quite the visual experience with a truly alien world feel to it.

The story is quite simple, yet still enjoyable. It opens with a human woman running with her small baby in arms trying to escape something terribly frightening. Suddenly, giant blue fingers come down and flick at her. She gets up a couple times to escape the fingers but eventually falls dead and the baby left crying. The view is then zoomed out to reveal some giant blue alien looking creatures, children in fact. One of these children pick up the crying baby to take home as a pet. Eventually the human the child had named Terr, grows up and begins to gain knowledge. Once the blue child, named Tiva, grows into a teenager and becomes less interested in her “pet”, Terr sees his chance to escape and runs off into the wilderness with the child’s learning device. He encounters a colony of wild humans, called Oms, and begin to assimilate into their society while at the same time sharing some of his knowledge with the colony and hatch a plan to escape the world of these giants, called Draags, before they get exterminated as the vermin they are seen as. And of course when some do manage to escape, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea?

It isn’t made entirely clear how the Oms ended up on this planet, just that they are seen as nothing more than how humans see rats. They do allude to the fact that there could be a chance that these humans once had an advanced civilization that is now long gone, lost to the ages. Of course many Draags laugh this bit of information off just as we would if someone had told us that rats were capable of the same thing.

7.5/10 Definitely worth a watch if you are a lover of science fiction, animation, or art. A bit of violence and mature themes so not for young children. It can be slow in some spots but the visuals distract one from that fact.

Posted in Entertainment, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My body feels out of balance. My soul feels out of balance. My mind feels out of balance. Each one of these are also out of balance with each other.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Some People

Something I found amusing while at work tonight. I pull off into a parking lot real quick around 10:30 at night to write down some data because you know, writing and driving don’t mix. As I’m writing, there is this woman outside my window flailing her arms trying to get my attention. She tells me she is stranded and needs to charge her phone. I try to explain to her that I am on a tight schedule and will not be sitting there long. Also, not even my vehicle. She legitimately asks me how long could it take to charge up a phone. Sorry lady, a lot longer than the 30 seconds that I will be sitting here. I mean, I feel bad for her situation but if I cannot help, then I cannot help.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Happy 45th Benedict!

Happy birthday to the one man I admire most, Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch – 7/19/1976. Magnificent actor, humanitarian, and all around great person beautiful inside and out. He continues to be showered with awards and nominations for dedication to his craft. If only all men could be this talented and driven! May his star continue to shine bright for many years to come!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Just Grates On One’s Nerves

Ever have that one person at work that has the most annoying, twittery laughs imaginable and thinks everything is just so funny even when you’re dead serious? Yeah, I work under one of those people. It’s not fun. The other day she has me drive a truck I told her to never put me in, and of course she did and I had a bit of a panic attack. Told her the next day that it was so bad that my chest was hurting and I couldn’t breathe or concentrate on working because I was trying to stay on the road. The bloody harpy just laughed and said, “You’re so funny!” Like yeah bitch, keep it up. My hatred and loathing for this temporary survival job knows no bounds. I really need to get back to my proper job field.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Good Deed Wasted

Did you ever do a good deed for someone only to later on feel that it was wasted when the person you were nice to turned out to be a horrible person? The girl that a couple weeks ago I spent over 3 hours trying to get her home in the middle of the night during a flood really showed her true colors recently. Not to me of course luckily because homicide is illegal and immoral of course, but wow did she turn out to be a spoiled and entitled little princess. She did not want to perform the task given to her by the boss, demanded (not asked) one of the other employees switch assignments with her and when they would not, she began throwing a tantrum and got into some verbal fights with a number of the coworkers and screamed that she should not have to listen to “all these old people”. She continued to disrespect everyone. Well our wimpy boss gave in and switched her assignment. Of course the girl gets caught speeding (the cars we drive record our speeds). Gets pulled into the boss’s office for a stern talking to about the speeding and her behavior. She then tries to claim racism which was the last straw and she got booted right away. My boss is many 4 letter words but not a racist. That poor child is going to have a hard time in the work force with her attitude. Everyone was always so nice to her, boy was that wasted!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You Will Never Understand

“Do what you love in your spare time,” they say. “You can still create and be you,” they say. It’s easy for them of course since their soul isn’t being sucked dry every single day. Last time I listen to people who tell me to apply for any job out there no matter what it is because you need a job so fuck your career and aspirations. Got sucked in to a job that works you anywhere from 10 to 12 hours a day that has nothing to do with my career or area of expertise or interest and it sucks the life out of me. How can one work a soul sucking, uncreative, unfulfilling, mind numbing job for 10 hours and have time for anything else? You wake up after hopefully a 7 hour sleep (for me it’s more like 5 or 6 because it’s hard for me to sleep regular), then you wash up, get dressed, and grab a bite to eat then it’s off to work. For me work is currently sitting in a car for 10 hours messing my back up more and more and getting no exercise (far removed from my tv job). After that I am so drained, I am a zombie before I even get home. Then I do get home around 2am leaving me an hour, maybe 2, to check emails and try to just unwind before going to bed. “Make time!”??? How the hell do I do that. There are only 24 hours in a day and it’s really getting to me. Some days while working I randomly break out in tears as I feel my soul being leeched of its essence and my body beginning to once again gain weight after all those years of trying hard to lose it and be healthy, my blood pressure is even on the rise and my doctor keeps threatening me with high blood pressure meds that I wouldn’t have to take at my age if it weren’t for this job. Yeah, I have the weekends (which my inept and apathetic boss keeps trying to whittle away but I’m not having any of that), but I always feel too wiped to do jack shit or I have to spend that time running errands that need taken care of because I sure as hell can’t do them in the middle of the night. And cannot work on my craft either. Would love to take some classes, brush up on my skills, finally take actual acting lessons and get out there, or just do some art but kind of hard when you work a 3pm to nearly 2am shift (one night I didn’t get home until nearly 3am). One bright spot though is that on Saturdays, my two friends and I try to get out and do something and it’s the only thing that keeps me going. If it weren’t for that I would probably just end up vegetating and weeping in the bed due to how wiped I always feel. All I worked for and ever loved is gone and I just have this miserable existence I tried climbing out of and got shoved back in to. Some days it takes every ounce of strength to not take myself out of the world, not that any would care really. I feel so trapped but I can’t quit because I need money but hard to do a job search when your only time awake at home you’re a zombie. Catch 22 and I hate it. I thought I knew hatred before, but my hatred for my job and my life right now knows no boundary and I don’t like the feeling. Love is a much nicer feeling but I just can’t seem to feel it much right now and it’s disturbing. I want to stay positive but it’s hard.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

So Easy For You to Say!

“You can do/be anything you set your mind to.” Am I the only one who hates that all too commonly used phrase? And then when you comment back that sometimes you can’t due to money and/or life situations or lack of connections, or age (yes that’s a real thing especially for women), they tell you that you’re just making excuses. They may even offer up examples of famous people who did legitimately come from humble backgrounds and achieved their dreams. If it’s so easy, why don’t you throw me a bone here! Be my connection. Give me an avenue that doesn’t involve shelling out big bucks. Be the one positive friend in the sea of family and friends that constantly steer me away from that which I want to achieve. Be support not a weight. Don’t be that person that knows deep in my heart and soul that I need to do/be one thing only to tell me to go work at the fucking post office. Yeah had that from a former coworker at the cable station I worked at for all my adult life (yeah I shouldn’t have been there that long, I know) when they decided to let me go due to budget cuts. Instead of giving me worthwhile leads she gives me that crap. If someone is having a hard time finding a way to get what they want, be the solution and not just make the person feel bad for not getting there. Not everyone is able to get where they want to be on their own forcing them to work some soul sucking job to pay bills and eat and little else leaving very little time to do anything constructive to reach their goals and life slipping away little by little with nothing to show. I am so glad you had it easy.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Usually Don’t But it Couldn’t Be Helped

schadenfreude: Taking pleasure in the misfortune of others

I normally refrain from schadenfreude but sometimes it really cannot be helped and let’s face it, everyone at some point in their lives has laughed or giggled inwardly to themselves upon witnessing something unfortunate happening to another person even if it’s something as benign as tripping over their feet. Sometimes though, there are rare occasions where it is well earned. Call it karma or poetic justice, but sometimes people bring it upon themselves. During last night’s little nightmarish adventure through the flooded streets of Dearborn, MI some impatient putz came up behind me as I drove slowly down a dark road trying to find a clear route to my destination. He frantically flashed his high beams and honked his horn totally ignoring the fact that there are other cars going slow or stopped altogether on this road. I came to a complete stop noticing some deep water up ahead and other cars immersed up to their tail lights. This jerk decides he’s going to whip around me at breakneck speed. Of course just as he passed me, there was a huge splash as he plunged right into the flood waters. He managed to turn around and drive a little bit back out of the water. As I was turning around I noticed him off to the side, his car totally dead with steam rising from the hood. I feel terrible for all the other people who got themselves stranded, but not this guy. I admit to smiling a bit. This guy had it coming I hate to say. I know we all have places to get to but if there is a traffic jam, there is usually a reason for it especially when the evidence is all around you. Yeah when I get off work, all I want to do is get home but sometimes stuff happens. Don’t be an idiot.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

No Good Deed is Without its Troubles

Friday night into Saturday morning was quite the adventure to say the least. Friday night the sky decided to open up and nearly drown the city of Detroit and the surrounding area. Of course I had to work Friday evening so I was pretty much in the thick of it. The rain did simmer down for a couple hours so I could get the majority of my job done before it decided to start back up. I got back to base just before the flooding really started to take hold in my area and streets started closing up. I clocked out around 1am and was ready to get going before things got even worse (little did I know they were already worse).

One of the new coworkers was in need of a ride home. The person who dropped her off was unable to come pick her up due to the flooding. Being a single Muslim woman, she dared not ask any of the other coworkers for a ride since her custom dictates that a young woman cannot be alone with a man that is not her husband, father, or brother and I was the only female coworker still there. She explained that she only lived 10 minutes away so I figured what the hell though I anticipated it taking only slightly longer with the weather. Boy was I in for a surprise! Just about every road I turned down was flooded out. What should have been a 10 minute drive turned into nearly 3 hours as I would get so far only to have to turn back around all the while dealing with traffic doing the same. That flood was disabling vehicles twice the size of my little car so I was not going to chance flooding my engine. The two of us were getting quite frustrated and at one point she even suggested I just drop her off on a corner on the Detroit border and she would try walking the rest of the way. A not so threatening looking young woman walking the Dearborn/Detroit border at 2:30am in the rain, I think not missy! I either get you home or back to where we work, not dropping you off in the ghetto. 3 hours to get this poor girl home then another hour to get to my own home. All this after working a full shift with no real meal since 2pm, my brain turning to mush from exhaustion and lack of nutrients, a bad headache, my back started to hurt, and I was marinating in damp clothes for 4 or 5 hours. I swear I must have looked drunk and ready to pass out as I hobbled out of my car and into my house, but at that hour I doubt anyone would have noticed. 4:30am, yeah I was wiped. Pretty much dead to the world.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment